Set amidst the gorgeous views of San Jose & Silicon Valley and spanning over a massive 90,000 square feet, San Jose Gurudwara is renowned to be the largest Sikh Temple in North America. The gorgeous architecture is unparalleled and sets the perfect backdrop for a Punjabi wedding in the Bay Area. No wonder 'san jose gurdwara wedding' is the most sought after in California.
The bride (Nalini) grew up 10 minutes away from this location and they couldn't have chosen a better place to tie the knot.
Amrit & Nalini reached out to us six months in advance to plan their wedding and we were honored when they made their choice & trusted us to capture their big day, Their wedding was set to be a traditional punjabi wedding and the celebrations kickstarted with all the traditional Sikh (or punjabi) wedding rituals. Here a few glimpses
Mehendi
An absolutely vital part to any Sikh wedding ceremony is the Mehendi ceremony. During this romantic and celebratory event, the bride sits down and gets intricate Henna paste designs painted onto her hands, arms, feet, and shins. It is a Punjabi belief that the darker the henna prints are upon a bride’s skin, the more love she will receive from her husband to be & in-laws.
Kurmai or Sagai or Engagement Ceremony
During the Kurmai, a priest (or Granthi) will offered a prayer to start off the event. Following this prayer, the bride’s family presents the groom with gifts, a Kara which is the steel bangle that Sikh men wear.
A scarf is placed on the groom’s shoulders/lap while some dried dates are placed into his hands. Nalini's (The Bride) Grandmother offered her blessings by feeding these dates to Amrit (the groom) per the Granthi’s instruction. With celebratory congratulations, the now engaged bride and groom will exchange rings, thus completing the Sagai and making the match official!
Chunni Chadai ceremony
The mother of the bride symbolically covers the bride’s head with a chunni. His family also gifts the bride with clothes, jewellery, etc.
Chooda Chadana (Kalire)
Similar to the American tradition of “something borrowed, something blue”, the Chooda Chadhana is a special event for the bride in which she receives a particular set of 21 red and ivory bangles. These are traditionally given to her by the eldest maternal uncle. Golden ornaments called Kalire are tied to the bangles.
Sangeet or Dholki and Jaggo Night
Literally translating to ‘Wake up’, Jaggo is a tradition where the relatives of the bride and groom used to go around the village (in the older times) dancing and singing with decorated pots with diyas on them. This was a way to invite everyone to the wedding.
The whole purpose of the Jaggo is to ensure everyone is awake & having fun until dawn and so not only are pots carried on the heads but long bamboo sticks are decorated and banged on the floor and chaj (bamboo tray) is hit on until it breaks.
Amrit & Nalini's Jago was a collaborated event with Sangeet night which was a giant gala where both sides of the family were invited to join together for a massive celebration filled with music, dance, good food, and laughter.
Vatna or Haldi Cremony
This is similar to the Hindu Haldi ceremony. A paste of turmeric powder and mustard oil is applied to the bride and groom before the wedding for a natural glow.
Sehra Baandh (or Sehrabandi)and Varna (or Warna)
During this ceremony, Amrit's (Groom) brother & uncle helped to tie a turban into place while his sisters tied a Sehra (a curtain made of gold ribbons, flowers, or even pearls) around the turban to cover the groom’s face. A black dot of kohl will then be placed on the side of his forehead to ward off any negative energy; this is traditionally done by the sister-in-law.
In some Punjabi cultures, the groom is given a Kirpan (a sword) which he would keep hold of the entire day to symbolize that he would protect his wife to be throughout their marriage. This tradition is one that was started from a practical necessity during the Mughal rule on India. It was during this time when bride’s were usually kidnapped during the wedding ceremonies and so the groom’s begun to carry a sword to protect both the bride and their honour.
The groom’s sisters will then drape a palla across his shoulders. The palla is a very crucial element of the marriage ceremony at the Gurudwara.
After this, the groom’s sister-in-laws put surma (kohl) on the groom’s eye line deterring any evil eyes. Finally, the sisters then come back to pin the sehra (decorative bead strings to cover the groom’s face from evil eyes) on his turban and pin a Kalgi (majestic jewel) on the turban in the middle. The groom then leaves his residence with the family and friends (baraat) to go to the Gurudwara.
Bride Getting Ready
Baraat, Agwani & Milni
Amrit & Family proceeded to the Gurudwara in San Jose where the wedding was set to happen. He was accompanied by his wedding procession consisting of close friends and family members who danced and sang along the way to the venue.
Milni is a Sikh wedding ritual where the bride’s family welcomes the groom as he reaches the wedding venue. Both families then congregate in a large and open area in front of the Gurudwara for the Milni ceremony. Milni is the formal introduction of the key members of both the families with the exchange of garlands. To start of the milni, the priest first recites a small prayer then calls the names of the corresponding relations from either side, beginning from the eldest, that is the grandfathers of the bride and groom. They would in the meet in the middle of the surrounding congregation and exchange garlands and a gift (this is the families wish to either give while exchanging or later) then hug and pose for a picture.
Varmaala
The baraat is received by the bride’s family and guests at the Gurudwara. The bride’s sisters and close friends would be in front of the bride side holding a red ribbon from one end to the other of the entrance gate which the groom would have to cut. He would not be given the scissors up until he or his father place an amount of money into a glass filled with water. This amount could be as less as a cent but the sisters take this opportunity to tease their brother-in-law-to-be and ask for a larger amount.
The bride, at this point, is kept separate in another room until the main ceremony. This is to keep up the anticipation to see her.
The baraat is then led into the langar hall where they would have breakfast and then head into the darbar (main hall) where the ceremony, Anand Karaj, would take place.
Anand Karaj
Anand karaj is the blissful union of the bride and groom with the Sri Guru Granth Sahib (Holy Book) being the witness to this union. The relatives and guests from either side of the family enter into the darbar and pay respect to the holy book by bowing down and then taking a seat in the room with ladies on the left side and gents on the right. The groom and his parents would be the last to enter. While everyone is paying their respects, a trio of priests is singing shabads (religious hymns).
The groom would enter holding a rumalla, a rectangular/ square silk decorated cloth for the holy book, as an offering and pay his respects and take his seat. After he has sat, the sisters of the groom would surround him from the back and remove his sehra and kalgi.
Just before the bride is requested to enter the darbar, the groom is led to sit in the front of the holy book. The bride would be escorted into the hall by her brothers and sisters-in-law. This is symbolic because brothers are considered the protectors of the sisters in the Indian culture. This particular tradition has developed over the years where the bride’s parents would also escort her along with the brothers.
The bride too, like the groom, would enter in holding a rumalla and would offer it and pay her respects after which she would take her seat next to the groom. Sisters and sister-in-law of the bride would sit behind her for support while the sisters and sister-in-law of the groom would sit behind him.
The priest then asks the parents of the bride and groom and the bride and groom to stand for an ardas. Everyone else would remain seated. After this, once they have sat down, the father of the bride is asked to come to the front and perform the palla rasam where he would take one end of the palla of the groom and either tie or give it his daughter’s hand to hold. This symbolizes the father giving away his daughter.
The brothers of the bride would then stand around the altar, with the Sri Guru Granth Sahib Ji in the middle, for the laavan (marriage hymns) where the priest would recite a hymn for each of the four laavs.
The four laavan are conducted to take the bride and groom through the stages of the journey that leads to a union with God and the union of a husband and wife. These are both teachings and vows that they take to seal their marriage union.
This refers to the main Sikh wedding ceremony. Anand Karaj translates to ‘blissful union’.
The families go into the Gurudwara to attend the Kirtan which is a set of religious songs that are sung. A guru granth sahib, the holy book of the Sikhs is brought out and the priest at the Gurudwara then recites ardas (a set of prayers) while the bride and groom are seated.
Laavan Pheras
After the priest recites a hymn for each laav, the bride and groom would bow down and start walking around the altar clockwise. This is when each brother would take their turns to hold and guide her while the groom leads. This is a symbolic tradition where it shows that her brothers will be there for her whenever she needs them. They would do this walk for all the four laavs.
The first laav emphasises on the duty towards the family and the community.
The second laav signifies the stage of yearning and love for each other.
The third laav stresses on the stage of detachment from the world.
The last and final laav signifies the final stage of harmony and union in marriage when love between the couple blends into the love for God.
After the fourth laav is recited, another hymn is sung to mark the marital union, and a final ardas is performed by the priest with the entire congregation, including the newlyweds. This would conclude the Sikh marriage ceremony.
Laavan are the four prayers that seal the marriage.
The bride’s pallu and the groom’s shawl/dupatta are tied together as a symbol of unity. They then take rounds around their holy book, the guru granth sahib as the laavan is chanted. The groom leads the rounds holding a Kirpan (sword).
After this, everyone would sit down while the parents of both the bride and groom would put a garland around the bride and groom and give them shagun (money as a blessing). The rest of the congregation would take turns in doing this too. So mark the end of the this, the priest would announce that Karah Prasad would be distributed, therefore everyone should sit down again. They would then head for lunch in the langar hall
Joota Chupai
Vidai or Doli
After lunch, close relatives and friends of the bride and groom and the bride and groom would head to the bride’s paternal house for the doli (departure of the bride to her new home). The groom’s mother would not be part of this ritual.
When they are at the bride’s house, both the bride and groom would be sat together in the living room with everyone around. The parents of the bride would usually give a gift to the couple (usually a watch) and feed them some more indian sweets.
Now the bride and groom are allowed to go to their home. When they are standing up and walking, a bowl of rice is held in front of the bride and she takes a handful and throws it behind her, over her head, in each corner of the house. This marks the bride’s declaration that she is leaving her paternal home and taking nothing with her.
The father of the groom throws money (usually small change) ahead of the car while the car starts to move. At this point, the brothers of the bride would be pushing the car for a little distance. In the older times, the bride would be carried by her brothers in a palanquin to her new home.
As they are walking to the wedding car, each relative of the bride takes a turn to bid farewell to her and wish her luck at the beginning of a new chapter of her life.
This is when the bride bids an emotional farewell to her family and proceeds to her husband’s house. As she departs, she throws a handful of rice backwards towards her mother, symbolically thanking her family for bringing her up and trying to repay them.
It is called doli as in earlier times, the bride was carried to the groom’s house in a wooden structure called doli.
Paani Varna
As the newlywed couple arrives at the groom’s house, his mother would be standing at the door to welcome her daughter-in-law and son. She would be holding a garvi which is filled with half water and half milk. She moves the garvi clockwise and attempts to take a sip after every turn while the groom playfully tries to stop her from taking the sip. She does this seven times and after the seventh turn, he lets her drink it. This is a way of blessing the bride and groom. The mother then proceeds to pour a bit of oil on either side of the door at the bottom.
This wedding ritual is both mischievous and also symbolizes the happiness in the wedding house with the arrival of a new family member and it also removes any evil eye from the bride and groom before they step inside. Once inside, the bride and groom are given a glass of milk to share. The sharing of food and drinks is considered to increase the love in a relationship.
This is the end of the night for the bride and groom as all rituals are done. Other members of the family and friends would stay longer to party.
Reception
In older times, the bride’s family would be the one to provide the groom’s family and guests a reception dinner as they would be the guests in the bride’s hometown or village.
These days, it usually the groom’s family who hold the reception dinner and it not as simple as it use to be because many couples have started to make it a grand celebration that involves various entertainment features like dance groups, live bands and so on and then finish it with dinner and dance.
This celebration is done in various ways but the most popular way of starting the celebration is with a cocktail hour that usually lasts 30 minutes to an hour depending on the number of guests you have. Then the guests would be asked to take their seat for the formal program of the evening to begin. This would start with the formal introductions of the bride’s parents and siblings and any bridesmaids (if there are any) followed by the groom’s parents and sibling and any groomsmen (if any) and finally the newlyweds. Speeches and performances are part of the entertainment that follows.
For the Wedding and all of their events, we offered photography and videography & HD livestream services and were with them throughout their celebrations.
We offer combined Photography, Videography and Livestream packages for Punjabi / Sikh Weddings in the San Francisco Bay Area and California. If you are interested in the best San Francisco Indian wedding photographers and videographers, give us a call at 925-587-3932 to learn more about our packages and pricing!
Vendor Roll Call
Photo: @zofocl
Cinema: @virazzproductions
Bridal Outfit : @abhinavmishra_
Design & Decor: @flowersbyedgar@finelinencreation
Bridal Mehendi: @hennacreation
Bridal hair and makeup: @beauty_innovations_
Reception Hair & Makeup: @neetujosh_artco
Catering: @sakoon_restaurant
Jago/Sangeet Night Venue: @sakoon_restaurant
Jaggo/Sangeet Night Dholi: @ashidholi
DJ: @djsalim26
Wedding Venue: @sanjosegurdwara
Reception Venue: @palmeventcenter
Reception Night Dholi: Harpal Saini